Khawla
bint Tha'labah was known for her eloquence, beauty, and noble lineage. She was
the wife of Aws ibn al-Samit, the brother of Ubadah ibn al-Samit, and
participated in the battles of Badr and Uhud, as well as most of the other
battles alongside the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). She
was the mother of Rabi' ibn Aws al-Samit. She was the woman whose complaint God
heard from above the seven heavens, and concerning her, God Almighty revealed,
"Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her (Khaulah bint Tha'labah) that
disputes with you (O Muhammad SAW) concerning her husband (Aus bin As-Samit)
and complains to Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily,
Allah is All-Hearer, All-Seer." (Surat al-Mujadilah: 1).
Her
complaint to God stemmed from a severe disagreement that had arisen between her
and her husband, shaking the very foundations of their home. It was not a
typical marital dispute. The husband became enraged and lost control, saying to
his wife, "You are to me like my mother's back." Khawla was the first
wife in Islam to be treated in such a way by her husband, who said to her,
"You are to me like my mother's back." His wife, tears streaming down
her face from the shock of what she had heard, said to him, "By God, you
have spoken grave words, the full extent of which I cannot fathom."
Then
the husband left after saying what he had said and sat with the people for an
hour. He then returned to her, attempting to seduce her, but she refused until
she knew God's ruling. She said, "No... By Him in whose hand is Khawla's
soul, you will not have any contact with me after what you have said until God
and His Messenger judge between us."
Khawla
went to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) and sat before
him. She told him what she had endured from her husband, seeking his counsel
and arguing with him about the matter. She said to him, "O Messenger of
God, you know who Aws is—the father of my children, my cousin, and the dearest
of people to me. You know his ailments, his limited abilities, his weakness,
and his speech impediment. I am the one most entitled to anything that belongs
to him, if I can find it or if it concerns me if this matter is present and
clear. And the one who has the right to claim something from me, if he finds
it, is the one who said, “By Him Who revealed the Book to you, he did not
mention divorce. He said, ‘You are to me like my mother’s back.’” The Messenger
of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “I see that you are forbidden to
him.” The believing woman repeated her words, explaining to the Messenger of
God what might befall her and her son if she were to separate from her husband.
Each time, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her,
“I see that you are forbidden to him.”
The
noble, believing, and patient female companion moved aside and turned towards
the Kaaba. She raised her hands to the sky, her heart filled with sorrow and
grief, and her eyes brimming with tears and anguish, saying, “O God, I complain
to You of the intensity of my longing and the hardship of his separation. O
God, send down upon the tongue of Your Prophet that which will bring relief.”
Aisha, describing Khawla’s condition, said, “I wept, and those of her family
wept with me.” "Out of mercy for her and compassion for her." She had
scarcely finished her supplication when the Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings be upon him) was overcome by what he used to experience when
revelation descended, then it passed from him. The Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings be upon him) said, "O Khawla, Allah has revealed a verse
concerning you and your companion." Then he recited to her: 58:1
Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O
Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah
hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. 58:2
Those who pronounce "thihar" among you [to separate] from their
wives—they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but
those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable
statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. 58:3
And those who pronounce "thihar" from their wives and then [wish to]
go back on what they said—then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before
they touch one another. That is what you are admonished for, and Allah is
acquainted with what you do. 58:4
And he who does not find [a slave]—then a fast for two months consecutively
before they touch one another; and he who is unable—then the feeding of sixty
poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His
Messenger, and those are the limits [set by] Allah. And for the disbelievers is
a painful punishment. (Surat Al-Mujadilah 58: 1-4)
She
said, “The Messenger of Allah said to me, ‘Tell him to free a slave.’” She
said, “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, he has nothing to free.’” He said,
"Then let him fast for two consecutive months." I said, "By God,
he is an old man; he cannot fast." He said, "Then let him feed sixty
poor people a wasq of dates." I said, "By God, O Messenger of God, he
does not have that." She said, "Then the Messenger of God said, 'We
will help him with a basket of dates.'" She said, "I said, 'O
Messenger of God, I will help him with another basket.'" He said,
"You have done well and acted rightly. Go and give it in charity on his
behalf, and then advise your cousin to treat him well." She said, "So
I did."
Khawla
got up to return to her husband and found him sitting by the door waiting for
her. He said to her, "O Khawla, what news do you bring?" She replied,
with joy on her face, "Good news..." and explained to him what the
Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, had told her regarding the
expiation.
Khawla
was a woman of immense influence over all Muslims, both men and women. God
Almighty willed that she be the source of a crucial legal ruling for all women,
as well as for men who act hastily and utter words forbidden by Islamic law due
to their injustice towards women. Throughout her life, she was an exemplary,
devoted wife, managing her household, fulfilling her duties towards her
husband, and exerting every effort in raising her children.
This
noble female companion held a high position in the eyes of God Almighty, His
Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and his close companions (may God
be pleased with them all). During his caliphate, Umar ibn al-Khattab passed by
her while riding a donkey. She stopped him for a long time and offered him
advice. She said to him, “O Umar, I remember you when you were called ‘Umayr in
the market of Ukaz, tending to the children with your staff. Then, before long,
you were called Umar, and then, before long, you were called Commander of the
Faithful. So fear God in your dealings with your subjects, and know that
whoever fears the threat of punishment will find the distant near, whoever
fears death will fear missing out, and whoever is certain of the reckoning will
fear the punishment.” Umar ibn al-Khattab stood before her, listening intently
to her words, his head bowed in rapt attention. One of his companions, Jarud
al-Abdi, was with him, and he could not contain himself at what Khawla had said
to the Commander of the Faithful. He said to her angrily, “You old woman have
spoken too much to the Commander of the Faithful!” Umar ibn al-Khattab replied,
“Leave her be… Don’t you know her? This is Khawla, whose words God heard from
above the seven heavens, and Umar is more deserving, by God, to listen to her.”
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