Modesty
is defined as "a quality that motivates one to avoid what is ugly and
prevents one from neglecting the rights of others" (Ibn Hajar). Modesty is
the crown of moral values, and it and faith are inseparable. It is the
perfection of religion, the guiding light for humanity towards goodness and
righteousness, and the adornment of a woman, a testament to her refinement,
chastity, honor, virtue, good upbringing, and purity of heart.
Some
believe that modesty and shyness are the same. Is there a difference between
them? The answer is, of course, a significant and vast difference. Modesty is a
virtue that elevates one above all that is ugly and deficient in one's duties
towards oneself or others. Shyness, on the other hand, is a powerful emotion
that makes a person feel flawed, unacceptable to others, and incapable of
correcting their mistakes. This means that shyness is a despicable trait,
leading those who possess it to refrain from demanding their rights, speaking
the truth, enjoining good and forbidding evil, seeking knowledge, inquiring
about religious matters, and even becoming angry for God when His prohibitions
are violated.
There
are many forms of shyness, including shyness before God, shyness before the
angels, shyness before people, and shyness before oneself.
The
word "shyness" appears in the Quran in the form of the verb "to
be shy" (yastahyi), with various meanings. For example, in the verse,
"O
you who believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses, except when leave is given to
you for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation. But
when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your meal, disperse,
without sitting for a talk. Verily, such (behavior) annoys the Prophet, and
he is shy of (asking) you (to go), but Allah is not shy of (telling you) the
truth. And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from
behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. And it is
not (right) for you that you should annoy Allah's Messenger, nor that you
should ever marry his wives after him (his death). Verily! With Allah that
shall be an enormity" (Surat
Al-Ahzab 53), and in the verse, "Verily, Allah is not ashamed to set forth a parable
even of a mosquito or so much more when it is bigger (or less when it is
smaller) than it. And as for those who believe, they know that it is the Truth
from their Lord, but as for those who disbelieve, they say, "What did
Allah intend by this parable?" By it He misleads many, and many He guides
thereby. And He misleads thereby only those who are Al-Fasiqun (the rebellious,
disobedient to Allah)" (Surat
Al-Baqarah 26), which means to be ashamed.
And
in His Almighty saying: “O you who believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses, except when leave is
given to you for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its
preparation. But when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your
meal, disperse, without sitting for a talk. Verily, such (behavior) annoys
the Prophet, and he is shy of (asking) you (to go), but Allah is not shy
of (telling you) the truth. And when you ask (his wives) for anything you
want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for
their hearts. And it is not (right) for you that you should annoy Allah's
Messenger, nor that you should ever marry his wives after him (his death).
Verily! With Allah that shall be an enormity”
(Surat Al-Ahzab 53), it means that the Prophet’s modesty prevented him, peace
and blessings be upon him, from asking you to leave. How could he ask you,
being the epitome of modesty and generosity? And in His Almighty saying: “Then there came to him one
of the two women, walking shyly. She said, "Verily, my father calls you
that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us." So when he
came to him and narrated the story, he said, "Fear you not. You have
escaped from the people who are Zalimun (polytheists, disbelievers, and
wrongdoers)." (Surat Al-Qasas
25), it also means modesty.
And
it also means “to fear,” as in His Almighty saying: “And [remember, O Muhammad],
when you said to the one on whom Allah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor,
"Keep your wife and fear Allah," while you concealed within yourself
that which Allah is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allah has
more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd no longer had any need for her, we
married her to you in order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort
concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they no longer have need of
them. And ever is the command of Allah accomplished.” (Surat Al-Ahzab 37). It also means to keep alive,
as in the words of God Almighty: “Verily, Fir'aun (Pharaoh) exalted himself in the land
and made its people sects, weakening (oppressing) a group (i.e., Children of
Israel) among them, killing their sons, and letting their females live. Verily,
he was of the Mufsidun (i.e., those who commit great sins and crimes,
oppressors, tyrants, etc.).” (Surat
Al-Qasas: 4), and in the words of God: “And (remember) when We delivered you from Fir'aun's
(Pharaoh) people, who were afflicting you with a horrible torment, killing your
sons and sparing your women, and therein was a mighty trial from your Lord.” (Surat Al-Baqarah: 49); and “And (remember) when We
rescued you from Fir'aun's (Pharaoh) people, who were afflicting you with the
worst torment, killing your sons and letting your women live. And in that was a
great trial from your Lord” (Surat
Al-A'raf: 141). And when Moses said to his people, "And (remember) when Musa
(Moses) said to his people: 'Call to mind Allah's favor to you, when He
delivered you from Fir'aun's (Pharaoh) people, who were afflicting you with
horrible torment and were slaughtering your sons and letting your women live,
and in it was a tremendous trial from your Lord.'" (Surat Ibrahim: 6); and "Then, when he brought them
the Truth from Us, they said, 'Kill the sons of those who believe with him and
let their women live,' but the plots of disbelievers are nothing but errors!" (Surat Ghafir: 25)
The
highest form of modesty is modesty before God. Modesty before God makes the
true believer ashamed to be seen by God committing a sin or neglecting an
obligation or duty that God has prescribed for him to have a good life and a
happy afterlife. This is due to his certainty that God sees him and that God is
with him wherever he is, as in the words of God. Almighty: “Knows he not that Allah does
see (what he does)?” (Surat
Al-Alaq: 14), and His words: “And indeed We have created man, and We know what his own self whispers
to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge)” (Surat Qaf: 16). These two verses indicate God’s
awareness of the conditions of His servants in secret and in public, and His
knowledge of what goes on in their innermost thoughts.
Human
modesty is not limited to modesty before God but extends to modesty before the
angels, whom God Almighty has warned are watching over humans and are aware of
everything they say and do. Is it wise and prudent to reveal to them what they
dislike about us, as Allah Almighty says, “And indeed, [appointed] over you are
keepers, 10. No! But you deny the Recompense. 12” (Surat Al-Infitar 82:10-12).
Modesty
before Allah is present in the Prophetic tradition, as our Prophet Muhammad (peace
and blessings be upon him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
be upon him) was sitting in the mosque with people around him when three men
approached. Two of them came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be
upon him), and one went away. They stood before the Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings be upon him)…” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
said, “One of them saw an opening in the circle and sat in it. The other sat
behind them. The third turned away and left. When the Messenger of God (peace
and blessings be upon him) finished speaking, he said, ‘Shall I not tell you
about the three men? One of them sought refuge with God, so God granted him
refuge. Another felt shy, so God felt shy of him. And the third turned away, so
God turned away from him.’” (Narrated by Abu) (Waqid al-Laythi; Source: Sahih
al-Bukhari).
As
for how to be modest before God, the Prophetic Sunnah clarifies this in the
Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) statement to his companions: “Be
truly modest before God.” We said, “O Messenger of God, we are modest, praise
be to God.” He said, “That is not it. True modesty before God is to guard the
head and what it contains (the mind and senses), to guard the stomach and what
it contains (the body and senses), and to remember death and decay. Whoever
desires the Hereafter abandons the adornments of this world. Whoever does that
has truly been modest before God.” (Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas’ud; Source:
Sahih al-Tirmidhi). Thus, modesty before God, as the hadith explains, is the
monitor, the judge, the regulator, and the scale for all of a person’s actions.
And modesty is entirely good.
As
the Prophetic tradition states, in what was narrated on the authority of Imran
ibn Husayn, on the authority of our master the Messenger of God, may God bless
him and grant him peace, that he said, “Modesty is entirely good.” He said,
“All modesty is good.” Then Bashir ibn Ka’b said, “We find in some books, or
wisdom, that some of it is tranquility and reverence for God, and some of it is
weakness.” He said, “So Imran became angry until his eyes turned red, and he
said, ‘Do I not see that I am narrating to you on the authority of the
Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, and you are contradicting
it?’” He said, "So Imran repeated the hadith." He said, "So
Bashir repeated it." Imran became angry and said, "We kept saying
about him, 'He is one of us, Abu Nujayd; there is nothing wrong with
him.'" (Narrated by Imran ibn Husayn; Source: Sahih Muslim).
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